BITCH

In praise of mothers, especially as I said “Goodbye” to my own. Just a few days ago, my mother passed. She was the epitome of brilliance, grace, elegance, class, sophistication, with a healthy dose of bitch thrown in. If you get offended reading this, then clearly you did not know us.

BITCH was a word that had such a deeply prideful meaning in my relationship with my mother, it truly was woven into the fabric that bound us. We agreed that BITCH, Babe In Total Control of Herself, embodied everything we were about. I hear people lament the use of the word and promote its removal from the female term of endearment category, and it makes me chuckle. Let’s not remove words, let’s truly UNDERSTAND them, by grasping that one definition does not fit all.

Now let’s be clear, if you are a woman, who treats people poorly because you suffer with power and control issues, play emotional games, lack character and integrity - demonstrating inappropriate, rude, harmful and destructive behaviors towards yourself or others privately and publically, then you are perhaps crazy, but a Babe In Total Control of Herself, you most certainly are NOT.

As many moms, my mom had control issues, but she had a firm grasp of what she could control and attempted to equally wrap her brain around what she could not control, but one thing she had tremendous control over, was herself, and at the end of the day, that is all one could ever ask of another human being, to CONTROL HERSELF and treat others, especially other women, appropriately and with kindness. While she was known for an occasional stern look and a salty word, her actions (especially to those she respected and thought of as smart) were intentional and kind. Women, especially the smart ones, were to be respected and treated with kindness and support.

This weekend, two generations of my mother’s nieces swooped in like SuperSheros, and treated my dad, my daughter, my husband and me, like royalty. They taught me lessons about life and love with their actions of kindness. They brought me to deep guttural belly laughs and streaming tears as they shared their reverence for my mother. There is nothing more empowering than hearing the positive impact my mother had on the lives of others...

Sadly, I was also tested during my grieving, and I passed with flying colors; my mother is smiling down on me proudly. If you are a woman and not making a positive difference in the lives of other women, you might be crazy, but you most certainly are not worthy of being called a Babe In Total Control of Herself.

My mother’s passing brought closure for some and new beginnings for others, but her Memorial Service made it ostensibly clear that she was not dropping the mic, she was passing the baton and so I am off.

Have you started your 21 Day Countdown to a Better You?